Journal: Surfs Up

As I continue to view life as a shared dream, there is this underlying knowing that puts everything into a wildly content perspective. 

There are people that understand the true nature of this consciousness and there are varying levels of those that do not. I seem to be lost in between. I spend a lot of my time at, what can be best described as, trying to catch waves of consciousness. When I can catch a wave I cannot yet stay on it. 

I can see two layers or levels in this conscious dream a.k.a. life. It looks a lot like a computer ( my frame of reference is saturated with tech ). I can see the operating system as consciousness and I can see individual applications. The applications are people and organizations ( hey, wait this is starting to sound like that Matrix movie ) running under the confines of the operating system. I see successful apps, failing apps and apps that seem to cause a lot of problems ( problems from my new perspective ). 

What is beginning to fascinate me most is how they all play off one another. There is a level of dependence also. The classic battle of the opposites. Anarchists cannot exist without the systems of government and their acts are necessary because without it their would be no need for government, nor anarchy. 

They all seem to be fighting for energy, but what they have not yet realized is that within consciousness there is an infinit abundance of this energy. I now know the difficulty of this particular blindness. 

I hear the news and I am unsettled, I do not yet understand, nor care, why ( the influence of the subconscious observer ). There is this feeling of a guiding narrative influencing everything. This might be caused by my need for a narrative to make sense out of it, but it is a palpable feeling. The entire orchestration is deeply profound...

I guess these are the first steps to eventually surrendering unto consciousness. Kind of like learning to surf. Part of the learning process is knowing when to let go.

Journal: Radio Free

Just another post to mark this segment of my experiences.

If anyone ever says "it's all in your mind", the correct reply should be "of course, how could it be any other way".

Journal: Now You See Me...

Part of the harassment that is employed by those that are called "gang stalkers" of "targeted individuals" is mainly psychological manipulation. This happens on many levels and almost every aspect of our conscious experience. Day to day conversations, mass media, urban and rural environmental experiences and even our unconscious experiences can influence our internal conversations and behavior. If you are unaware that people are manipulating you with casual conversations and utilizing the powers of suggestion they can manipulate your behavior and choices to a powerful degree.

Once you become aware of these tactics as well as some others you are able watch the entire process with a bit of a grin. The best you can do is to ignore these shenanigans and go about your life while watching these tactics being deployed as a form of entertainment. This shared conscious dream that we all are experiencing has much to do with various entities, beings, and organizations (political, marketing, religious) vying for your attention. I have learned that what you give most of your attention to becomes the narrative of your conscious dream experience.

We must also understand that the whole of consciousness is also vying for you attention and when you are aware of this it is easy to discern the influences of consciousness from the many charlatans, spooks and minions. It all comes down to choices. Give your attention to that which best suits your desires and ignore all the rest. If you do not see it, does it really exist?

Vous avez un choix...

Journal: Rodents-Dead-Gone

This post will not make sense to anyone but me. The title marks a waypoint in my life. One I may or may not refer to along the way...

Journal: Why?

I am failing to answer a simple question. Within the infinite possibilities of consciousness there is one human behavior that I am unable to understand at this time. Why do we hurt one another?

I can see where this has occurred in the distant past that seemingly set off a chain reaction. Clearly we have evolved to a level of consciousness where we can put an end to this behavioral disorder, but it persists. 

When I focus on the question my mind falls silent, possibly because there aren't any reasons that exist within consciousness for us to continue hurting one another, or the only reasons that exist are the ones we create...

Journal: Who Am I?

Losing a sense of ones self is not easy, even when it is intentional. When faced with the truth, seen through the eyes of who you now have become, there is some hesitation and fear of losing what you believed to have been your true self, even now that you know it was false. 

I never could have imagined anything like I am beginning to experience. When consciousness expands and the truth begins to set in, you begin to feel a lot like a fool. A stupid little fool.

What a strange trip it has been...

Journal: Infinite Fear

I was just broadsided by the concept of the infinite. I was thinking about consciousness and how this shared reality is expanding. With each thought this expansion of consciousness manifests yet another aspect of this shared dream. Then I was suddenly hit by the infinite levels and dimensions within consciousness. The endless amount of realities and universes that exist came in to full view. I became excited and awe struck and then my mind retreated in fear. It was as if my mind reached the edge of comprehension and shut down. 

This is an interesting experience regarding my conscious mind's fear of losing control. That which cannot be refrenced within my frame of reference is discarded. What else will it not allow me to experience?

Journal: Wake up...

I was thinking about the time when I had a dream within a dream. I remember having an odd dream and because it was on the edge of being really bizarre I forced myself to wake up.

I remember sitting on my bed and thinking how strange the dream, I just had, was and that I was glad to be awake. I looked around my room and felt that something wasn't right. Then a anxious feeling came over me and I realized that I was still dreaming. After some strenuous effort I woke up again. 

That's how I can sum up my current feeling. Something is not right although everything and everyone is the same as it ever was. 

It's the transition. I do it everyday. Moving from an unconscious state to a conscious one each time I wake. The dream still active in my thoughts. The characters still present in the conversation or the project. I am lost between two dreams. 

Most of the time, during my conscious waking state, I try to force myself to wake up. What was once an act of futility, I now actually feel it will happen. 

Journal: Home

Most of my life I have lived a life of chaos searching for something or some kind of fulfillment. Physical, emotional or chemical means were futile attempts to fill the void within me. Feelings of satisfaction were mostly short lived eventually leading towards social dissatisfaction. 

Meditation helped me to get used to solitude. Meditation also allowed that which I was searching for to come to me. Moments of bliss and contentment were without any known attachment. Those feelings were familiar to me and I wanted more. 

My recent paradigm shift toward a conscious simulation, or shared dream has fostered an evolution or expansion of consciousness. This conscious dream now guides me toward understanding what I have been searching for. 

Contentment, bliss and joy are my natural states of being. My dissatisfaction was an indication that I was lost. Now that I am aware that my emotional responcses can be used to guide me, I can find my way back to the source of consciousness that is my true home. 

I now know why I have never felt at home at any single time in my life. The closest place to home has always been on a mountain or deserted beach, but now I can summon that feeling of home, bliss and relief with a thought. I have finally realized that I am a conscious being in the midst of the whole of consciousness, how much closer to home can I be? This is what I have been searching for, a way back home, right here, right now.

The sleeper has finally awakened...

Journal: The Silence

Things are changing. Evolution of thought. Much to practice and contemplate. Time to surrender to the flow...