Posts from original blog www.i-am-xam.com/blog.html.
12.24.11 - When I first moved to Hawaii, specifically Honolulu, I encountered some native Hawaiians that mistook me for one of the Nameless. I was on my bicycle waiting for the light to change when a car with three Samoan occupants took a pulled up next to me and looked at me as though I was not supposed to be there. I did not react the way the expected and they sat in their car and watched me as I rode away. I did not realize what had happened until after the attacks some two years later. Every once in a while I would be riding along the beach and would encounter a group of young Samoan guys. One of them would point me out and start to move out of the way. When he indicated to another that I was coming one guy said "I don't care who he is". I would pass them without incident, but there was still some indication that they thought I was someone, or something, I was not. Looking back at much of what happened in Hawaii, it is clear to me that there are other people like myself that are aware of the Nameless and are resisting them in one way or another. I have been mistaken for one of them many times in the past and still do to this day when I enter a new area.
The greatest concentration of the Nameless seem to be in certain specific locations. I have seen a good deal of the Nameless on the island of Maui. They look very similar to the people I initially encountered when the attacks began earlier this year. There is something different about them and when I was on Maui it was clear that they may have made up the majority of the people I saw. It makes sense since the Nameless are mostly upper middle class income and above and the island of Maui is an island mostly inhabited by wealthy people. I guess some of them flew into Honolulu from Maui to take care of me.
I cannot say that the Nameless all look alike. They do not. Most of my encounters are with people of European and Asian (Chinese, Japanese). I have seen people that I would call lower level minions that come from different types of income, backgrounds and ethnicities, I assume that they are of mixed ehtnicity. The people with high levels of energy or auras are mostly attractive in some way, but there are also some that are extreme looking. I was walking through Nordstrom in the Ala Moana shopping mall in Honolulu and I saw an extreme looking man in the distance. He was talking to a rather attractive sales lady. The area of the store they were in was empty. I could only see the sales lady and what I can only describe as a male with dark skin large body and a large head. He had exaggerated features almost as if they were abnormal. I was struggling with the way he looked. He was, to put it mildly, pretty ugly in an extremely intriguing manner. I began to walk in their direction, but as I approached I felt an urge to leave the store. I suspect that my mind was having difficulty interpreting what I was seeing and feeling. I may have been unable to see him for what he was and so my mind created this image of him from what images I have stored in my mind. Kind of like how people in a dream are created from parts of things you have seen during your waking experiences.
I had a similar experience at the Great Mall in Milpitas California. I entered a bakery in the mall and I immediately felt the aura of person or being with a high level of energy. I wanted to leave, but the person I was with wanted to buy some things and so I stayed and watched them from a distance. The person was seated at the table with some other people. They looked normal. They fit in. One of them was watching everyone as they went about their business. Two of people were watching me as I watched them we all felt each others presence. It is an uncomfortable feeling for me. It is the same feeling I had when I met the wife of my distant cousin. I left the bakery without incident. I now realize that they have an ability to make people feel that way. Some kind of aura that keeps people away from them or me away from them. I now realize why they have been keeping tabs on me. When they know where I am or where I am going they can keep the higher level people out of sight. When I identify one of them that seems to create some kind of problem, I am not sure what that problem is yet. Possibly if I see them they become a part of my consciousness and whatever I see I suppose those that are aiding me can see them also (pure speculation at this point).
I encounter the Nameless everywhere in California. The places of high concentrations are mostly in affluent areas, but they are not always in those areas. But, they do seem to segregate themselves from what I call regular or normal people. They form communities within the general population and they take care of each other. An interesting thing I have noticed is that a lot of the Nameless are associated with private educational institutions, mostly Catholic. Mitty High School in Cupertino California, USF, Pepperdine, Santa Clara University. Both the students and faculty are the Nameless. I did encounter some faculty members at San Jose State University that I would consider part of the Nameless, but not many of the students. At the time of my awakening (trek through the void), some of my instructors were covertly letting me know that they knew what I had accomplished and some students were trying too hard to become my friend.
Locations in California that I have seen high concentrations of the Nameless are in Milpitas, Fremont, San Francisco, Malibu, Santa Monica, Venice, Los Angeles (mostly wealthier areas of Los Angeles), Huntington Beach, Santa Cruz, Pacific Palisades. I have recently encountered them in Santana Row at the Valley Fair shopping mall after making a snap decision to drive through it. Stanford shopping Mall and The Great Mall in Milpitas are also active with the Nameless and their minions. While I lived in Los Angeles and went to Rodeo Drive I did not see as many Nameless when I would walk through on a weekend. The same goes for Melrose shopping area in L.A. I have also encounter the Nameless in the sleepy little towns along the coast of California. Those small out of the way towns seem to be a good place to live undetected. The highest concentration of the Nameless I have ever encountered was in Calabasas California. When I visited the markets, there were a few times where they tried to intimidate me to the point where they followed me to my home. Three of them stood outside their car and stared in the direction of my house. Calabasas may very well be a stronghold for the Nameless with high levels of energy.
The most startling thing I discovered was a vocation with a very high concentration of the Nameless. Doctors, surgeons, nurses and other hospital staff are positions the Nameless people seem to have an affinity for. The many times I have accompanied family members to hospitals, I encountered many of the Nameless that make up nearly 80 percent of the staff. The discovery was startling because, if you want to control a population or keep people from self realization, then you can do so through the medical field. My experiences with electromagnetic radiation that the Nameless used on me the last several months was able to lower my energy (the vibrational energy that effects health and wellbeing). I left Hawaii 30 pounds lighter than when I arrived. Most of the weight I lost was during the last 40-50 days in Hawaii. This was mostly due to the E.M. fields that they were subjecting me to on a daily basis. Normally I would have went to the hospital for some tests, but I did not because I knew what was going on. If they used the E.M. field on someone else and they went to a hospital for tests there would be plenty of Nameless physicians and medical staff to complete whatever they are trying to accomplish. I speculate that this may have happened to Steve Jobs. Now that I know more about Steve than I knew in the past (specifically his use of LSD), his behavior is similar to mine, in that he was suspicious of the people around him. He may not have had a similar awakening, but I believe he may have been able to sense these people I call the Nameless. Is this the way they take care of people that refuse to comply with this conscious reality? Subject them to E.M. fields in order to mimic a symptom then induce the illness when they go in for testing and diagnosis? Who would be able to refute this when all the physician are from the same organization?
They are in about every profession and career. They are in law enforcement, politics and other government agencies. They are in the military, positions within technology, construction workers, sales people, stock brokers, insurance sales people, professional athletes, actors and musicians (isn't that right J.V.). It is amazing to see how they have been able to saturate this level of consciousness. Their ability to hear the thoughts of others is an advantage they have used in creative ways. When I encountered these people long ago and they were able to know what I was thinking at the time I did not even consider that they were able to hear my thoughts. I would have a negative judgement about the person and I could watch their disposition change. I never knew how that happened, I thought it was just me. Now I know and I use it against them and watch a completely different reaction on their part. Yeah, I know what you are...
I know that I am struggling with consciousness. I am discovering that I am shifting through various levels or dimensions. At first I was unaware of what I was doing. My experiences are teaching me new things about abilities I have gained or they are showing me new possibilities that are emerging in this new era for us all. My first indication that I was unknowingly shifting through other levels of consciousness happened some time after my experience through the void. I met a popular street magician at a coffee shop in San Jose. After I introduced myself, he asked me how I knew who he was. I stated that I saw him on television. He looked puzzled. It was as if he could not understand how I could have seen his television appearance. I thought nothing of it at the time and I said that I was a big fan and then said goodbye. I walked away from the table and went back to my friends and told them who he was. My friends did not know who I was talking about. I thought it was funny that they never heard of him. The magician later came up to me and a group of my friends and began to perform some card tricks. One of his friends was recording the impromptu magic show, the camera periodically focussing on me. The Nameless have a way with using cameras to record the images of people like myself. That was one of many pictures that were snapped of me since my exit from the void. During the card tricks, I could see that his friends were paying too much attention to me. I starting to understand what is happening to some degree. The lines between consciousness, dimensions (string theory) and alternate universes is being blurred. I am able to manipulate time and space on a very small scale. As my consciousness expands so does my understanding of what I am experiencing. Is this what the Nameless have been trying to keep me from discovering?
I am in the process of purging the Nameless from my consciousness. I view them as invading bacteria that have made a home in my body and are now being eradicated by my immune system. The light of my awareness and ever expanding consciousness is harmful to the Nameless parasites. They no longer can feed upon my fear. I see them around me when I go about my life and they still try and attack, but I am aware of what they are doing and that awareness gives me greater immunity...
I have not used any psychedelic substances, mainly THC and CBDs, since my short term use in Hawaii. I know that marijuana was able to enhance some of the things I have been experiencing. I was able to tap into levels of consciousness that were the same as the Nameless, literally opening doors into other realities or pulling the veil from my eyes. That's when the Nameless stepped up their need to stop me. I can now understand why marijuana (cannabis) is outlawed all almost everywhere in the world. It is the one substance that may allow everyone to see things as they really are. I may also be interfering with the ability of the Nameless to influence others. That's something I believe the Nameless are attempting to prevent...
A little bit more about me: I am an avid cyclist. You can find me riding up Mt. Hamilton road to the Lick Observatory at least once a week. I have smiled at some of you that have realized who/what I am. I have sensed you as you have sensed me. Forgive me for not starting up a conversation, but I have to be careful of who I invite into my conscious realm. I see you. I am grateful that I am able to connect with you for that short period of time. Now that things are changing, and I am better able to discern friend from foe, I will be able to connect with you.
I am trying to get a lot of subjects on the blog. I have been noticing that the Nameless are attempting to continue their E.M. radiation on me as I continue to evolve. Since my arrival to my new home the effects have diminished as my health increases. I find that they turn up the intensity when I feel the best. When I am joyful they are very persistent. I have noticed this in the past. They do not want me to have continuous feeling of wellbeing. Fear and depression is what they require to keep me under control. When I am joyful, I can make better sense of all of this, I can push past this level and expand into the next. The internet may be the place were all levels of consciousness can come together and share their journey.
Friday, January 6, 2012
12.16.11 (Transfered from original blog)
Posts from original blog www.i-am-xam.com/blog.html.
12.16.11 - It has been pretty clear that the Nameless wanted me to stop posting to this blog among other things. I attempted to let them know that I would not continue my blog if they would leave me alone. They never really stopped completely, they just toned down their activity. So since they were unable to stop trying to control my activities I feel a need to continue to tell my story.
A lot has happened since my last post and I will be posting it here in the near future. I am still confused concerning my experiences, but that may be caused by the seemingly endless possibilities that are available. I am slowly understanding what I need to do and interestingly it has nothing to do with the Nameless. It has to do with my conscious perceptions of my world view or cloud and what I give my attention to. It also has a good deal to do with my connection to the greater consciousness in general. This is very difficult to explain, but it is a fundamental part of our existence. It is staring us in the face on a daily basis. For me it has been very obvious, but I was unable to understand what I was experiencing.
Throughout the years of my life I have had a feeling that something was not right. I just kept that thought in the back of my head and went along with my life as other people around me did. I did what I was supposed to do in order to exist in the life that I found myself living, the life that I inherited. That's what we all have done, we all have followed in the footsteps of those that came before us. We inherited this life, or social construct, from our parents and others as we developed our world view. We inherited this grand delusion that has taken us very far away from the reality that exists beyond this grand delusion.
Most of my life I never stopped feeling that something was wrong even during good times when life was easier. Life just seemed to be limited and restricted. I remember myself thinking if this was it. Is that all there is? I felt that I was not seeing the entire picture. I was not living the life I could have and something was holding me back. The feeling became a dominant belief and my life, in being deeply influenced by that belief, it created my current set of circumstances.
If you have followed this blog or even purchased my ebook you know that I am having some difficulty with people I refer to as the Nameless. That difficulty could have eventually cost me my life (the word "life" is becoming a subjective term that does not fully define this experience), but I am still here ("here" is also a subjective term that does not consider that we all shift through space and time as we ascend and descend in differing states of consciousness). I am in a better place safe and protected by family and also those positive forces that remain hidden to me. Now it seems that I need to make some adjustments. I believe that I am capable of recreating my life in profound ways. I have proven this to myself many times, but now I have a better method in which to create a better more positive experience. The Nameless no longer have a place in the life I now create. They were responsible for my current level of awakening. They were necessary and I am very grateful for the attention they have given me. Now I need to direct my attention away from them because they no longer serve a purpose in my life. Like a relationship that has run its course I will move on. They no longer have the ability to inhibit my progress. The light has illuminated their role in my existence. The Great Oz has been unveiled and he no longer holds power over me.
My last post I had referred that the Nameless might be some advanced alien race, I have now chosen to not make any assumptions concerning their origin. Consciousness is a complex and interesting construct with endless possiblities. I do not know who or what the Nameless are or if they are any different than the rest of us. I have encountered some people with intense auras of energy (?), but they are still people that look no different than anyone else. With the endless amount of possibilities that this existence has to offer I can not begin to, nor would I want to, continue to speculate as to their origins because it no longer serves a purpose. Call them what you like, they may be just a group of people that have figured out a way to maintain power and control with technology, their will, the truth, or some Jedi mind tricks. I only know that they are effectively hiding the truth (reality) from a lot of us for a very long time, but that time has come to an end for me. I am now going to change my relationship with the world, or universe, and align myself with a world view that has no limitations and restrictions. I want the type of life I feel can exist. The life that exists behind the veil of this grand delusion.
As I progress, I will tell you a bit about who I am. I will tell you a little more about what had happened the past few months and then I will continue to tell you about my journey as I change my intentions, thoughts and actions. I am consciously going to manifest my life as I see necessary. To disinherit the habits that I believe to be destructive and limiting. To forget the behaviors that were a result of my social conditioning and begin to become the architect of my own life in a world without limitations. I do not want to fight or be in opposition to the Nameless. I want to continue my life's journey in a direction that leads away from the Nameless and other similar realms of conscious existence.
A little about me: My trip through the void occurred in an apartment across the street from the university I was attending in San Jose California. The security guard that waved to me the morning after exiting the void was standing in the doorway of Uchida Hall at San Jose State University. The construction workers that pointed me out ("there he is") as I walked past a construction site a few days after my trip through the void were working on the San Jose Repertory Theater. The landscapers that commented "there he is" as I walked to class were employed by San Jose State University. The location, where I encountered the people I referred to as "Time Tourists", was across from the Starbucks coffee shop adjacent to the San Jose Rep. And, the location where the significant attacks occurred during the first couple of months of 2011 happened in Honolulu Hawaii, the result of those attacks stripped me of 30 lbs. of body weight. I am now back in San Jose California, back where it all began. More to cone...
12.16.11 - It has been pretty clear that the Nameless wanted me to stop posting to this blog among other things. I attempted to let them know that I would not continue my blog if they would leave me alone. They never really stopped completely, they just toned down their activity. So since they were unable to stop trying to control my activities I feel a need to continue to tell my story.
A lot has happened since my last post and I will be posting it here in the near future. I am still confused concerning my experiences, but that may be caused by the seemingly endless possibilities that are available. I am slowly understanding what I need to do and interestingly it has nothing to do with the Nameless. It has to do with my conscious perceptions of my world view or cloud and what I give my attention to. It also has a good deal to do with my connection to the greater consciousness in general. This is very difficult to explain, but it is a fundamental part of our existence. It is staring us in the face on a daily basis. For me it has been very obvious, but I was unable to understand what I was experiencing.
Throughout the years of my life I have had a feeling that something was not right. I just kept that thought in the back of my head and went along with my life as other people around me did. I did what I was supposed to do in order to exist in the life that I found myself living, the life that I inherited. That's what we all have done, we all have followed in the footsteps of those that came before us. We inherited this life, or social construct, from our parents and others as we developed our world view. We inherited this grand delusion that has taken us very far away from the reality that exists beyond this grand delusion.
Most of my life I never stopped feeling that something was wrong even during good times when life was easier. Life just seemed to be limited and restricted. I remember myself thinking if this was it. Is that all there is? I felt that I was not seeing the entire picture. I was not living the life I could have and something was holding me back. The feeling became a dominant belief and my life, in being deeply influenced by that belief, it created my current set of circumstances.
If you have followed this blog or even purchased my ebook you know that I am having some difficulty with people I refer to as the Nameless. That difficulty could have eventually cost me my life (the word "life" is becoming a subjective term that does not fully define this experience), but I am still here ("here" is also a subjective term that does not consider that we all shift through space and time as we ascend and descend in differing states of consciousness). I am in a better place safe and protected by family and also those positive forces that remain hidden to me. Now it seems that I need to make some adjustments. I believe that I am capable of recreating my life in profound ways. I have proven this to myself many times, but now I have a better method in which to create a better more positive experience. The Nameless no longer have a place in the life I now create. They were responsible for my current level of awakening. They were necessary and I am very grateful for the attention they have given me. Now I need to direct my attention away from them because they no longer serve a purpose in my life. Like a relationship that has run its course I will move on. They no longer have the ability to inhibit my progress. The light has illuminated their role in my existence. The Great Oz has been unveiled and he no longer holds power over me.
My last post I had referred that the Nameless might be some advanced alien race, I have now chosen to not make any assumptions concerning their origin. Consciousness is a complex and interesting construct with endless possiblities. I do not know who or what the Nameless are or if they are any different than the rest of us. I have encountered some people with intense auras of energy (?), but they are still people that look no different than anyone else. With the endless amount of possibilities that this existence has to offer I can not begin to, nor would I want to, continue to speculate as to their origins because it no longer serves a purpose. Call them what you like, they may be just a group of people that have figured out a way to maintain power and control with technology, their will, the truth, or some Jedi mind tricks. I only know that they are effectively hiding the truth (reality) from a lot of us for a very long time, but that time has come to an end for me. I am now going to change my relationship with the world, or universe, and align myself with a world view that has no limitations and restrictions. I want the type of life I feel can exist. The life that exists behind the veil of this grand delusion.
As I progress, I will tell you a bit about who I am. I will tell you a little more about what had happened the past few months and then I will continue to tell you about my journey as I change my intentions, thoughts and actions. I am consciously going to manifest my life as I see necessary. To disinherit the habits that I believe to be destructive and limiting. To forget the behaviors that were a result of my social conditioning and begin to become the architect of my own life in a world without limitations. I do not want to fight or be in opposition to the Nameless. I want to continue my life's journey in a direction that leads away from the Nameless and other similar realms of conscious existence.
A little about me: My trip through the void occurred in an apartment across the street from the university I was attending in San Jose California. The security guard that waved to me the morning after exiting the void was standing in the doorway of Uchida Hall at San Jose State University. The construction workers that pointed me out ("there he is") as I walked past a construction site a few days after my trip through the void were working on the San Jose Repertory Theater. The landscapers that commented "there he is" as I walked to class were employed by San Jose State University. The location, where I encountered the people I referred to as "Time Tourists", was across from the Starbucks coffee shop adjacent to the San Jose Rep. And, the location where the significant attacks occurred during the first couple of months of 2011 happened in Honolulu Hawaii, the result of those attacks stripped me of 30 lbs. of body weight. I am now back in San Jose California, back where it all began. More to cone...
08.22.11 (Transfered from original blog)
Posts from original blog www.i-am-xam.com/blog.html.
08.22.11 - I recently read an article concerning extraterrestrial contact - Hoping to Contact Extraterrestrials? Think Again. It was more of a warning about extraterrestrial contact than anything else and they did make an interesting and ominous statement: "Just as we did to those beings, the extraterrestrials might proceed to kill, infect, dissect, conquer, displace or enslave us, stuff us as specimens for their museums or pickle our skulls and use us for medical research... ". This might not be too far from what is going on at this time to some degree. As I have been trying to figure out the origin of the people/beings/whatever I have encountered, the term alien extraterrestrials often comes up (at this time I do not have any evidence to support that the Nameless are or have descended from another planet). I then started to think about the term alien and how it is used in our language. We call things alien when we refer to things that are not from our country or planet. When we use the words alien extraterrestrials we are talking about beings from other planets visiting our home planet as if we were the original inhabitants. I am now wondering if that is actually the case. With the beings that I have encountered, and continue to encounter, I am beginning to believe that we may not have been the original inhabitants or native species of this planet. There is too much information that is missing that links us to primitive humankind. The missing link may not even exist. We may be aliens of this planet or some sort of genetic colonization project that was started by the Nameless or some other advanced race of being. These people or beings that I encounter have been here for a very long time. They have been involved in our lives on a daily basis. They have been guiding us by helping to create the stories within our cultures and religions. The alien terrestrial myth may be just another diversion to keep us from the truth that we are the aliens or created by aliens.
I am an anomaly. On one of my recent encounters with one of the Nameless (or a more sympathetic evolved being), they covertly suggested at a genetic mutation. The message was delivered with a slight air of revulsion. When I consider that I may be a genetic mutation it begins to explain a lot of things. It explains the amount of hatred or "genetic discrimination" that I have endured since exited the void and I have declined becoming part of their organization. I may very well be some kind of genetic mutation that they need to keep monitoring or controlling. I am beginning to think that there are a lot of genetic mutations like myself that have certain traits that are similar to their own. I speculate that that most of them are part of the organization, either knowingly or unknowingly. It begins to make sense to me as I continue to rehash my past experiences. The things I have witnessed and the abilities that allowed me to be above the average in some areas of my life. The opportunities that were presented to me as well as the people that were present in my life at that time. Since I was able to notice what was going on in my life intuitively, or otherwise, I became suspicious and distrustful. Instead of following along or conforming, I diverted my attention away from the secular or material they were providing, or tempting me with, to the spiritual. As I became more interested in the why I am this way and experimenting with psychedelics and white powdered gold I began to encounter the wrath of the Nameless. My persistence brought me dangerously close to evolving into one of them or something close to them. My short lived ability to hear the thoughts of other Nameless was immediately quashed by days of intense electromagnetic radiation to eliminate that ability. They still use that radiation to control and prevent me from evolving and limiting my health. I believe they are stunting my health and eventual physical and spiritual (?) evolution.
Most of my life I have seen things differently or seen things that others are unable to see. Since I became aware of them, I have always wondered what was going on. It might be that I am a lot more different than I had thought possible. If I am a mutation then what does that make me? A more important question may be what are we? The notion that we are a crop of humans that were grown here on this planet by some of the more intelligent, more evolved humans makes more sense than all the other stories that make our human experience. Our Nameless caretakers and their offspring live among us and weed out the anomalies and mutations (those like myself that have seen beyond the delusion of this reality) so that they can preserve this existence. If this notion has any merit, then we are pieces on a game board being manipulated in some sadistic experiment. We are prisoners of this existence and consciousness is our only exit.
There seem to be different factions of the Nameless and they may very well be using us in their battle for control. The ancient alien theories purport that our ancient history is rife with evidence of wars between aliens races or among the aliens themselves. Our current state of affairs between nations, corporations and beliefs may be a effect of their conflict. The people I have referred to as time travelers or tourists come to our planet to view the drama and spectacle of this human condition as if we were some sort of zoo. Our news and television programs are only a means for advertising. Our planet sits on the outer edges of our galaxy like an amusement park located in an unincorporated area of a city. They come to watch us struggle through our primitive existence... I could be way off base or spot on, I just don't know. The Nameless that I had encountered in the past tried to end my life, put me in the hospital or make me crazy (or all the above). Whether or not they are alien beings from another planet, I just can't say.
I don't want to be too negative, so I have to repeat that there are other beings, or evolved humans, among us that are helping us. I know this because they are helping me. I am still here because of them. Maybe they are just helping me to add to the drama of the zoo called planet Earth. Call it divine intervention if you want, but I believe that there may be a more spectacular, albeit a little more mundane, explanation. Our planet may be more of a mixture of nationalities, races and cultures than we are aware of at this time. Highly evolved beings that have been with us throughout our existence have been right along side us. There may be no such thing as aliens or extraterrestrials at all. We may be nothing but a lower form of an alien species from some other origin.
One word for the next post - Bacteria...
08.22.11 - I recently read an article concerning extraterrestrial contact - Hoping to Contact Extraterrestrials? Think Again. It was more of a warning about extraterrestrial contact than anything else and they did make an interesting and ominous statement: "Just as we did to those beings, the extraterrestrials might proceed to kill, infect, dissect, conquer, displace or enslave us, stuff us as specimens for their museums or pickle our skulls and use us for medical research... ". This might not be too far from what is going on at this time to some degree. As I have been trying to figure out the origin of the people/beings/whatever I have encountered, the term alien extraterrestrials often comes up (at this time I do not have any evidence to support that the Nameless are or have descended from another planet). I then started to think about the term alien and how it is used in our language. We call things alien when we refer to things that are not from our country or planet. When we use the words alien extraterrestrials we are talking about beings from other planets visiting our home planet as if we were the original inhabitants. I am now wondering if that is actually the case. With the beings that I have encountered, and continue to encounter, I am beginning to believe that we may not have been the original inhabitants or native species of this planet. There is too much information that is missing that links us to primitive humankind. The missing link may not even exist. We may be aliens of this planet or some sort of genetic colonization project that was started by the Nameless or some other advanced race of being. These people or beings that I encounter have been here for a very long time. They have been involved in our lives on a daily basis. They have been guiding us by helping to create the stories within our cultures and religions. The alien terrestrial myth may be just another diversion to keep us from the truth that we are the aliens or created by aliens.
I am an anomaly. On one of my recent encounters with one of the Nameless (or a more sympathetic evolved being), they covertly suggested at a genetic mutation. The message was delivered with a slight air of revulsion. When I consider that I may be a genetic mutation it begins to explain a lot of things. It explains the amount of hatred or "genetic discrimination" that I have endured since exited the void and I have declined becoming part of their organization. I may very well be some kind of genetic mutation that they need to keep monitoring or controlling. I am beginning to think that there are a lot of genetic mutations like myself that have certain traits that are similar to their own. I speculate that that most of them are part of the organization, either knowingly or unknowingly. It begins to make sense to me as I continue to rehash my past experiences. The things I have witnessed and the abilities that allowed me to be above the average in some areas of my life. The opportunities that were presented to me as well as the people that were present in my life at that time. Since I was able to notice what was going on in my life intuitively, or otherwise, I became suspicious and distrustful. Instead of following along or conforming, I diverted my attention away from the secular or material they were providing, or tempting me with, to the spiritual. As I became more interested in the why I am this way and experimenting with psychedelics and white powdered gold I began to encounter the wrath of the Nameless. My persistence brought me dangerously close to evolving into one of them or something close to them. My short lived ability to hear the thoughts of other Nameless was immediately quashed by days of intense electromagnetic radiation to eliminate that ability. They still use that radiation to control and prevent me from evolving and limiting my health. I believe they are stunting my health and eventual physical and spiritual (?) evolution.
Most of my life I have seen things differently or seen things that others are unable to see. Since I became aware of them, I have always wondered what was going on. It might be that I am a lot more different than I had thought possible. If I am a mutation then what does that make me? A more important question may be what are we? The notion that we are a crop of humans that were grown here on this planet by some of the more intelligent, more evolved humans makes more sense than all the other stories that make our human experience. Our Nameless caretakers and their offspring live among us and weed out the anomalies and mutations (those like myself that have seen beyond the delusion of this reality) so that they can preserve this existence. If this notion has any merit, then we are pieces on a game board being manipulated in some sadistic experiment. We are prisoners of this existence and consciousness is our only exit.
There seem to be different factions of the Nameless and they may very well be using us in their battle for control. The ancient alien theories purport that our ancient history is rife with evidence of wars between aliens races or among the aliens themselves. Our current state of affairs between nations, corporations and beliefs may be a effect of their conflict. The people I have referred to as time travelers or tourists come to our planet to view the drama and spectacle of this human condition as if we were some sort of zoo. Our news and television programs are only a means for advertising. Our planet sits on the outer edges of our galaxy like an amusement park located in an unincorporated area of a city. They come to watch us struggle through our primitive existence... I could be way off base or spot on, I just don't know. The Nameless that I had encountered in the past tried to end my life, put me in the hospital or make me crazy (or all the above). Whether or not they are alien beings from another planet, I just can't say.
I don't want to be too negative, so I have to repeat that there are other beings, or evolved humans, among us that are helping us. I know this because they are helping me. I am still here because of them. Maybe they are just helping me to add to the drama of the zoo called planet Earth. Call it divine intervention if you want, but I believe that there may be a more spectacular, albeit a little more mundane, explanation. Our planet may be more of a mixture of nationalities, races and cultures than we are aware of at this time. Highly evolved beings that have been with us throughout our existence have been right along side us. There may be no such thing as aliens or extraterrestrials at all. We may be nothing but a lower form of an alien species from some other origin.
One word for the next post - Bacteria...
08.19.11 (Transfered from original blog)
Posts from original blog www.i-am-xam.com/blog.html.
08.19.11 - I have been thinking about the role of the Nameless in our society. We are living in difficult times right now, but they have also been here for a very long time. So can I blame them for the current and past states of chaos, war, poverty and suffering. If they are in positions of control then I have to say that they are not doing such a good job. I have seen them in teaching positions at the university I graduated from. I have recently seen them in the medical profession. I cannot say that either of those institutions are doing a very good job and at a cost that would make educational and medical services available to everyone. Not at this level of consciousness.
I know that at higher level of consciousness there are vast differences in the way the level function. I have seen a higher level and things are very different than my current level is at this time. It begins to look as if this level is one where we are treated as livestock. Those that I have encountered take on the role of reporting, surveilling and controlling. Much of the control tends to limit the amount that one can ascend to a higher state of consciousness or awareness. When I mention awareness I am not speaking about spiritual awareness (I am redefining spirituality for myself at this time). I am speaking about becoming aware of a reality that is being hidden from us. Unfortunately it may have nothing to do with our notion or concept of spirituality. It may have more to do with conscious awareness at the level of intellectual understanding and perception. The all elusive spiritual self realization may not exist at all. It is beginning to feel as if there are more evolved humans living among us. They are preying upon this notion of spirituality. They are using it against us. We are all seeking some form of understanding concerning the mystical and spiritual. But what may actually exist is far from our current concept of religion and spirituality. If we heard music for the very first time we would think it was divine. We would even go as far to say that the musician was a spiritual being. We would feel that way because it was new to us. Our means of addressing this new sound would be difficult at first. The very first time people saw a movie of a train they thought the train was going to come out run them over. Our mind has difficulty understanding experiences that lack some common point of reference. Most of our extraordinary experiences fall under the umbrella of the mystical or paranormal. Some even are completely disregarded and forgotten. I believe that our current perceptions are misguided. The world we live in is far from the reality of our planet and universe enough to make the movie The Matrix a laughable concept.
I went looking for that thing called spirituality and what I have found was spiritual in the beginning, but as my experiences continue there is very little spirituality that remains. On a positive note there are those that are here to help us.
08.19.11 - I have been thinking about the role of the Nameless in our society. We are living in difficult times right now, but they have also been here for a very long time. So can I blame them for the current and past states of chaos, war, poverty and suffering. If they are in positions of control then I have to say that they are not doing such a good job. I have seen them in teaching positions at the university I graduated from. I have recently seen them in the medical profession. I cannot say that either of those institutions are doing a very good job and at a cost that would make educational and medical services available to everyone. Not at this level of consciousness.
I know that at higher level of consciousness there are vast differences in the way the level function. I have seen a higher level and things are very different than my current level is at this time. It begins to look as if this level is one where we are treated as livestock. Those that I have encountered take on the role of reporting, surveilling and controlling. Much of the control tends to limit the amount that one can ascend to a higher state of consciousness or awareness. When I mention awareness I am not speaking about spiritual awareness (I am redefining spirituality for myself at this time). I am speaking about becoming aware of a reality that is being hidden from us. Unfortunately it may have nothing to do with our notion or concept of spirituality. It may have more to do with conscious awareness at the level of intellectual understanding and perception. The all elusive spiritual self realization may not exist at all. It is beginning to feel as if there are more evolved humans living among us. They are preying upon this notion of spirituality. They are using it against us. We are all seeking some form of understanding concerning the mystical and spiritual. But what may actually exist is far from our current concept of religion and spirituality. If we heard music for the very first time we would think it was divine. We would even go as far to say that the musician was a spiritual being. We would feel that way because it was new to us. Our means of addressing this new sound would be difficult at first. The very first time people saw a movie of a train they thought the train was going to come out run them over. Our mind has difficulty understanding experiences that lack some common point of reference. Most of our extraordinary experiences fall under the umbrella of the mystical or paranormal. Some even are completely disregarded and forgotten. I believe that our current perceptions are misguided. The world we live in is far from the reality of our planet and universe enough to make the movie The Matrix a laughable concept.
I went looking for that thing called spirituality and what I have found was spiritual in the beginning, but as my experiences continue there is very little spirituality that remains. On a positive note there are those that are here to help us.
08.16.11 (Transfered from original blog)
Posts from original blog www.i-am-xam.com/blog.html.
08.16.11 - Greetings... Some significant changes have been made and I have again survived the onslaught of those I call the Nameless. I will not go into much detail pertaining to the changes at this time, but I will say that I am at a safer location. The Nameless did all they could to make the transition a difficult. They persisted in their use of the electromagnetic radiation up until the last day. They were also continuing the psychic attacks, but the attacks have not been very effective.
The new location is safer for me. I am surrounded by family and friends and it has made a big difference in my health and well being. Even though I am in a safer location it does not mean that I am free of the Nameless. I recently visited with family and some distant cousins. The spouse of the cousin was one of the Nameless. I knew it the moment we were introduced. We could not sustain eye contact with each other and the short conversation we had was strained. We spent the rest of the time avoiding each other, but that did not keep the person from attempting to attack me before they left. They even went as far as taking pictures of me, which is something they do to keep a record of people that are aware of them or that can sense something about them.
My cousin and the Nameless person have a child together. I am finding that this sort of thing is fairly common. It is as if they are engaged in some sort of breeding program. I might be correct when I once called them "Locum Tenens". If they are bent on replacing us by breeding us out then they are doing so right in front of our eyes and without our consent. I say they, but I am also implying that I don't know what they are. They are not like myself and some of the people I know, they are definitely a more evolved human (for lack of a better term).
The new environment that I am now in is saturated by the Nameless and their minions. I see them and sense when they are near me. It is a strange relationship I have with them. I can pick them out of a crowd. I know that they can hear my thoughts and I have successfully forced them to start looking around as I communicate with them (they can hear me, but I can not hear them). They always have a strained look on their faces when they find out that someone knows who they are. Soon after that encounter, one of them went out of his way to let me know he did not approve of what I did, but I have no fear of them anymore. On one of my more recent excursions I overheard a couple of people say "that's him, I know that that's him" as I walked by. I turned to see them watching me as I walked past. I get it, I really do. I'm the anomaly. I have been through this many times. It no longer surprises me nor does it bother me. I go to the stores where they shop and work and they stare at me with that familiar warning written across their faces. I can even surprise some of them when I approach them. Their look of confusion is a dead giveaway. They do not know what to make of me. As I have stated before, I seem to be projecting my thoughts or something else at a higher level. When I used to consume cannabis, whatever I was/am projecting (thoughts or whatever) was/is increased to annoying levels. I still wonder if the campaign to keep cannabis illegal might be backed by the Nameless. Cannabis may amplify or cause some kind of interference with the way they are able to tap into our thoughts. I plan on experimenting with cannabis and how if effects their abilities and or enhances mine some time in the near future. I'll post my experiences here.
I feel compelled to ask one thing of them, no, I challenge them to tell me who they are and why I am so different. I challenge them to tell me the role I play in their lives or plans. I challenge them to come clean and let me know what the hell this is all about. I am one person and I know that they exist in greater numbers, so why am I a threat. They are everywhere and they blend in very well. They have been part of every aspect of my life, living in plain view, undetected until I figured it out over the past 10 years. They come in all shapes sizes colors and genders and occupy all kinds of positions and occupations. What do they have to lose in telling me what they are or what they want? Even if they tell me who is going to believe me if I try and tell the rest of the world?
Every time I sit down to post an entry in this blog I feel that I have gone over the edge. This sounds more like my own personal version of a Dairy of a Madman.
I apologize for not posting in a while. I hope to make up for it in the near future. Thank all of you that have purchased my ebook. I have begun the second volume, but I have no clue as to when it will be completed. And again, thank all of you that have sent me love and support.
08.16.11 - Greetings... Some significant changes have been made and I have again survived the onslaught of those I call the Nameless. I will not go into much detail pertaining to the changes at this time, but I will say that I am at a safer location. The Nameless did all they could to make the transition a difficult. They persisted in their use of the electromagnetic radiation up until the last day. They were also continuing the psychic attacks, but the attacks have not been very effective.
The new location is safer for me. I am surrounded by family and friends and it has made a big difference in my health and well being. Even though I am in a safer location it does not mean that I am free of the Nameless. I recently visited with family and some distant cousins. The spouse of the cousin was one of the Nameless. I knew it the moment we were introduced. We could not sustain eye contact with each other and the short conversation we had was strained. We spent the rest of the time avoiding each other, but that did not keep the person from attempting to attack me before they left. They even went as far as taking pictures of me, which is something they do to keep a record of people that are aware of them or that can sense something about them.
My cousin and the Nameless person have a child together. I am finding that this sort of thing is fairly common. It is as if they are engaged in some sort of breeding program. I might be correct when I once called them "Locum Tenens". If they are bent on replacing us by breeding us out then they are doing so right in front of our eyes and without our consent. I say they, but I am also implying that I don't know what they are. They are not like myself and some of the people I know, they are definitely a more evolved human (for lack of a better term).
The new environment that I am now in is saturated by the Nameless and their minions. I see them and sense when they are near me. It is a strange relationship I have with them. I can pick them out of a crowd. I know that they can hear my thoughts and I have successfully forced them to start looking around as I communicate with them (they can hear me, but I can not hear them). They always have a strained look on their faces when they find out that someone knows who they are. Soon after that encounter, one of them went out of his way to let me know he did not approve of what I did, but I have no fear of them anymore. On one of my more recent excursions I overheard a couple of people say "that's him, I know that that's him" as I walked by. I turned to see them watching me as I walked past. I get it, I really do. I'm the anomaly. I have been through this many times. It no longer surprises me nor does it bother me. I go to the stores where they shop and work and they stare at me with that familiar warning written across their faces. I can even surprise some of them when I approach them. Their look of confusion is a dead giveaway. They do not know what to make of me. As I have stated before, I seem to be projecting my thoughts or something else at a higher level. When I used to consume cannabis, whatever I was/am projecting (thoughts or whatever) was/is increased to annoying levels. I still wonder if the campaign to keep cannabis illegal might be backed by the Nameless. Cannabis may amplify or cause some kind of interference with the way they are able to tap into our thoughts. I plan on experimenting with cannabis and how if effects their abilities and or enhances mine some time in the near future. I'll post my experiences here.
I feel compelled to ask one thing of them, no, I challenge them to tell me who they are and why I am so different. I challenge them to tell me the role I play in their lives or plans. I challenge them to come clean and let me know what the hell this is all about. I am one person and I know that they exist in greater numbers, so why am I a threat. They are everywhere and they blend in very well. They have been part of every aspect of my life, living in plain view, undetected until I figured it out over the past 10 years. They come in all shapes sizes colors and genders and occupy all kinds of positions and occupations. What do they have to lose in telling me what they are or what they want? Even if they tell me who is going to believe me if I try and tell the rest of the world?
Every time I sit down to post an entry in this blog I feel that I have gone over the edge. This sounds more like my own personal version of a Dairy of a Madman.
I apologize for not posting in a while. I hope to make up for it in the near future. Thank all of you that have purchased my ebook. I have begun the second volume, but I have no clue as to when it will be completed. And again, thank all of you that have sent me love and support.
07.11.11 (Transfered from original blog)
Posts from original blog www.i-am-xam.com/blog.html.
07.11.11 - What is love? For most of my life I thought I knew. I am beginning to realize that I never understood what love was, until now. I have loved and been loved, but I can now say that I never experienced love as I do now. Love always had some kind of object associated with it. There have been people associated with the emotion as well as inanimate objects. For me love was a subjective emotion, in that it is different for everyone and has different levels. Recently I have been feeling love without any association to anyone or anything. I have felt this before, but not to the degree I am feeling it now. What I am experiencing is different, very different from the love I thought I knew. It may very well be the love that is talked about in religious texts, but I cannot be sure. Utter bliss and contentment is something that I have experienced, but this feeling is not the same.
I used to hear people talk about this kind of love. It was often described as God's love or love from some other worldly origin. I immediately associated it with my old understanding of love. I never quite made the connection. It just did not feel right to me, and so I just dismissed it. I now believe that they were talking about the love that I feel now. It is a powerful transformative feeling that originates from within me, and it is also external from me at the same time. I get the feeling that someone or something is sending me love, but I unable to determine this. I think that it might come from consciousness itself. Since I am part of consciousness then it makes sense that I would feel it coming from two places. I cannot offer any reasonable explanation, I am only attempting to describe what I am feeling.
This started when I began to use the Flower of Life mandala. The connection I have with consciousness grows deeper every week and this new feeling of love also grows. It is now a self perpetuating thought form or feeling. It is an energy that is growing, or evolving, on its own. There is a pulsing sensation as this feeling washes over me and then subsides. My old self struggles to maintain is dominance, but retreats as this feeling grows stronger. I have trouble enough trying to discern what part of my life is real, so I can't help but wonder if what I am experiencing is another delusion. I struggle with the construct that is my reality. Right now my reality is in chaos. I cannot trust anything other than the current moment or whatever amy lie beyond it. If this is the path to enlightenment then I would not wish it on anyone. It is a struggle in trusting yourself to make the right decisions. To trust that what you are feeling is real. I know I need to let go of my old self. How do I let go of what I know when I need it to make sense of myself and the reality I live in now? This new feeling is a comfort, but it also causes a great deal of confusion.
This is supposed to be about spiritual transformation. I may very well be involved in a spiritual transformation that I can't begin to understand. Is this what they have been trying to prevent me from experiencing? Is this what they have been keeping from me and everyone else? The past few days have been strange for me, or stranger still. It is as if everything has been paused. The radiation that I feel on a daily basis has slowed or I can't feel it as much. The feelings of fear have subsided, but they have been replaced by worry. It is as if something has been altered and the negative influences that have blanketed my life have been removed. There is this erie quiet about my life that is unsettling. Is this part of my new association with this thing called love? I need to find another word for what I am feeling. The word LOVE just does not seem to quantify what I am feeling and how it is changing me. I don't want to lose what I have gained, but I still don't have any sense of direction as to where this may lead. I am blindly following this feeling mostly because I have no other choice.
Change is coming. I am excited and apprehensive. When I went in search of a spiritual transformation I never thought it would be like this. Sadly, once you begin to pierce the veil of this reality there is no going back. There is only one thing I can do. I need to see this through...
07.11.11 - What is love? For most of my life I thought I knew. I am beginning to realize that I never understood what love was, until now. I have loved and been loved, but I can now say that I never experienced love as I do now. Love always had some kind of object associated with it. There have been people associated with the emotion as well as inanimate objects. For me love was a subjective emotion, in that it is different for everyone and has different levels. Recently I have been feeling love without any association to anyone or anything. I have felt this before, but not to the degree I am feeling it now. What I am experiencing is different, very different from the love I thought I knew. It may very well be the love that is talked about in religious texts, but I cannot be sure. Utter bliss and contentment is something that I have experienced, but this feeling is not the same.
I used to hear people talk about this kind of love. It was often described as God's love or love from some other worldly origin. I immediately associated it with my old understanding of love. I never quite made the connection. It just did not feel right to me, and so I just dismissed it. I now believe that they were talking about the love that I feel now. It is a powerful transformative feeling that originates from within me, and it is also external from me at the same time. I get the feeling that someone or something is sending me love, but I unable to determine this. I think that it might come from consciousness itself. Since I am part of consciousness then it makes sense that I would feel it coming from two places. I cannot offer any reasonable explanation, I am only attempting to describe what I am feeling.
This started when I began to use the Flower of Life mandala. The connection I have with consciousness grows deeper every week and this new feeling of love also grows. It is now a self perpetuating thought form or feeling. It is an energy that is growing, or evolving, on its own. There is a pulsing sensation as this feeling washes over me and then subsides. My old self struggles to maintain is dominance, but retreats as this feeling grows stronger. I have trouble enough trying to discern what part of my life is real, so I can't help but wonder if what I am experiencing is another delusion. I struggle with the construct that is my reality. Right now my reality is in chaos. I cannot trust anything other than the current moment or whatever amy lie beyond it. If this is the path to enlightenment then I would not wish it on anyone. It is a struggle in trusting yourself to make the right decisions. To trust that what you are feeling is real. I know I need to let go of my old self. How do I let go of what I know when I need it to make sense of myself and the reality I live in now? This new feeling is a comfort, but it also causes a great deal of confusion.
This is supposed to be about spiritual transformation. I may very well be involved in a spiritual transformation that I can't begin to understand. Is this what they have been trying to prevent me from experiencing? Is this what they have been keeping from me and everyone else? The past few days have been strange for me, or stranger still. It is as if everything has been paused. The radiation that I feel on a daily basis has slowed or I can't feel it as much. The feelings of fear have subsided, but they have been replaced by worry. It is as if something has been altered and the negative influences that have blanketed my life have been removed. There is this erie quiet about my life that is unsettling. Is this part of my new association with this thing called love? I need to find another word for what I am feeling. The word LOVE just does not seem to quantify what I am feeling and how it is changing me. I don't want to lose what I have gained, but I still don't have any sense of direction as to where this may lead. I am blindly following this feeling mostly because I have no other choice.
Change is coming. I am excited and apprehensive. When I went in search of a spiritual transformation I never thought it would be like this. Sadly, once you begin to pierce the veil of this reality there is no going back. There is only one thing I can do. I need to see this through...
07.04.11 (Transfered from original blog)
Posts from original blog www.i-am-xam.com/blog.html.
07.04.11 - I am making changes in my life and the Nameless are not happy. I already know that all will go according to plans.
Since I have been working with the Flower of Life I have been enduring attacks on my emotional state of mind. I know that the Nameless are capable of influencing me in a negative way with what I believe to be some kind of psychic ability. They normally manifest as abrupt changes in my emotional state of mind, such as a foreboding need to leave the area. I used to think that I was responding to my intuition, but that might not be the case. What I am now having to endure is a feeling of fear and anxiety when I wake up in the morning. The feeling is without any cause. I think that they are preying upon me while I sleep. I must be more vulnerable to their suggestions when I sleep. I wake up with this feeling of hopelessness when I know that I am not that far gone. It is difficult to wake up and feel this way knowing that it does not originate from my own mind. I am only able to think about it in this manner because of my experiences with them. If I was unaware of their abilities to influence me I would probably be lost. They have been relentless, and each day I find a way through it. I have hope and I believe that I will always prevail.
I have been countering this feeling with meditation with some degree of success, but the feeling returns the following morning. I had a change in schedule that kept me away from my apartment for a period of time and I noticed that I did not encounter the fear or anxiety. During that day I was overcome with contentment and an appreciation for everyone I saw. I was enjoying the day in a way I have not been able to do in quite some time. I am accepting everything that comes my way with a sense of awe and appreciation. I am beginning to accept and understand this reality as a grand illusion of consciousness. The shear magnitude of the illusion is overwhelming and it all emanates from our conscious perceptions. When you begin to see our reality in this way, you can see how we are all in this together, making this happen. I am beginning to feel the oneness with everyone that enlightened people are able to perceive even though I may be far from being enlightened myself.
When I returned home my mood began to diminish until the next morning when the fear and anxiety returned. Now when they induce that fear in me I leave the apartment and I can feel that fear leave me. If they are, as I believe they are, psychic puppet masters, I may not be the only person they are doing this to. There are far too many people that are dealing with fear and anxiety. It may not be a mental illness. It might just be one of the nameless keeping them from consciously evolving. Those that pose a threat to them are the ones that are slowly awakening to their connection to the greater consciousness. If you are experiencing something similar then don't reach for a pill, make a sudden change of venue. Take a walk outside in a secluded area and see if the anxiety subsides. Pay attention to where and when the fear rises in you. Pay attention to those around. Don't be obvious, be present and pay attention. Once they know that you are aware of them then they will go away.The Nameless attack me constantly. When I can identify the person that attacks me then I rarely, if ever, see that person again. For me they do not go away, they just send another. The amount of people they have used to pound me into submission is incredible. The logistics to carry this off is mind boggling. Just how important can I be to them?
A few days ago I carried the device with me and no one attacked me. I was having a great day, feeling content and being very positive. I saw one of the Nameless standing next to me in line. He looked like a guy I used to work with. I didn't care, I just went about my business and enjoyed the day. I was people watching and feeling really positive about everyone (I attribute this to the Flower of Life meditation I have been doing - let's see if this will last). Then when I arrived home, they hit me harder than normal. I do not know if they have done so because of the changes I am making, because I carried the device with me on my errands, or because I was in a great mood. The radiation was increased and directed at the back of my head. This continues to be so bizarre that I still have difficulty believing what I am going through. I just can't seem to figure out what they want from me. It seems to change as I change.
I'm going to be very busy over the next few weeks. I'll try and keep everyone updated as best I can. When the posts stop completely then you'll know they have accomplished their goal (whatever that may be). Many thanks to all of you for the continued support and assistance.
07.04.11 - I am making changes in my life and the Nameless are not happy. I already know that all will go according to plans.
Since I have been working with the Flower of Life I have been enduring attacks on my emotional state of mind. I know that the Nameless are capable of influencing me in a negative way with what I believe to be some kind of psychic ability. They normally manifest as abrupt changes in my emotional state of mind, such as a foreboding need to leave the area. I used to think that I was responding to my intuition, but that might not be the case. What I am now having to endure is a feeling of fear and anxiety when I wake up in the morning. The feeling is without any cause. I think that they are preying upon me while I sleep. I must be more vulnerable to their suggestions when I sleep. I wake up with this feeling of hopelessness when I know that I am not that far gone. It is difficult to wake up and feel this way knowing that it does not originate from my own mind. I am only able to think about it in this manner because of my experiences with them. If I was unaware of their abilities to influence me I would probably be lost. They have been relentless, and each day I find a way through it. I have hope and I believe that I will always prevail.
I have been countering this feeling with meditation with some degree of success, but the feeling returns the following morning. I had a change in schedule that kept me away from my apartment for a period of time and I noticed that I did not encounter the fear or anxiety. During that day I was overcome with contentment and an appreciation for everyone I saw. I was enjoying the day in a way I have not been able to do in quite some time. I am accepting everything that comes my way with a sense of awe and appreciation. I am beginning to accept and understand this reality as a grand illusion of consciousness. The shear magnitude of the illusion is overwhelming and it all emanates from our conscious perceptions. When you begin to see our reality in this way, you can see how we are all in this together, making this happen. I am beginning to feel the oneness with everyone that enlightened people are able to perceive even though I may be far from being enlightened myself.
When I returned home my mood began to diminish until the next morning when the fear and anxiety returned. Now when they induce that fear in me I leave the apartment and I can feel that fear leave me. If they are, as I believe they are, psychic puppet masters, I may not be the only person they are doing this to. There are far too many people that are dealing with fear and anxiety. It may not be a mental illness. It might just be one of the nameless keeping them from consciously evolving. Those that pose a threat to them are the ones that are slowly awakening to their connection to the greater consciousness. If you are experiencing something similar then don't reach for a pill, make a sudden change of venue. Take a walk outside in a secluded area and see if the anxiety subsides. Pay attention to where and when the fear rises in you. Pay attention to those around. Don't be obvious, be present and pay attention. Once they know that you are aware of them then they will go away.The Nameless attack me constantly. When I can identify the person that attacks me then I rarely, if ever, see that person again. For me they do not go away, they just send another. The amount of people they have used to pound me into submission is incredible. The logistics to carry this off is mind boggling. Just how important can I be to them?
A few days ago I carried the device with me and no one attacked me. I was having a great day, feeling content and being very positive. I saw one of the Nameless standing next to me in line. He looked like a guy I used to work with. I didn't care, I just went about my business and enjoyed the day. I was people watching and feeling really positive about everyone (I attribute this to the Flower of Life meditation I have been doing - let's see if this will last). Then when I arrived home, they hit me harder than normal. I do not know if they have done so because of the changes I am making, because I carried the device with me on my errands, or because I was in a great mood. The radiation was increased and directed at the back of my head. This continues to be so bizarre that I still have difficulty believing what I am going through. I just can't seem to figure out what they want from me. It seems to change as I change.
I'm going to be very busy over the next few weeks. I'll try and keep everyone updated as best I can. When the posts stop completely then you'll know they have accomplished their goal (whatever that may be). Many thanks to all of you for the continued support and assistance.
06.25.11 - 06.29.11 (Transfered from original blog)
Posts from original blog www.i-am-xam.com/blog.html.
06.25.11 - I have found evidence that my email has been hacked by someone. Good to know that I am not completely paranoid. There have been a number of email messages that were deleted before I had a chance to read them. If any of you have sent email asking questions or offering assistance and you did not receive a reply please resend the message. I am working with my ISP to prevent this from happening again. Again I'd like to thank all of you that have sent, and continue to send, me support and love.
06.29.11 - I am pretty amazed at the level of meditation I am able to achieve after a short time working with the Flower of Life mandala. I am reaching level of silence I have been unable to reach since my relationship with the Nameless took on a more sinister character.
I have noticed some changes in my habits and attitude that seem to originate from my own will. I find myself doing the right things automatically with out much resistance. It is strange to see myself taking these small steps in the right direction. The self talk has taken on a different character and I am finding that within myself is a more compassionate personality. Today I looked into the mirror and saw myself differently. For the first time in a very long time, I actually liked what I saw. There is something I can now see in my own eyes that was missing. It is familiar to me. Like seeing an old childhood friend for the first time in a very long time.
I have recently read that the FOL brings about a closer connection with your true self as the ego begins to relinquish control. I have always had a difficult time with the ego. Many times I have beaten it back only to have it resurface again, and now it seems a bit easier to keep the ego at bay. The first few days using the FOL mandala were not so smooth as I found it difficult to adjust to what I was feeling, but now it looks as if that period may be over. I need to spend more time with the FOL. I have spent over ten years working with the Sri Yantra mandala. I don't remember making a lot of progress with it in such a short amount of time. The FOL is very different, profoundly different.
My more recent research into the holographic universe and the Kabbalah has caused my assailants to turn up the radiation the past couple of days. Even though I had always believed that reality is an illusion of our perceived world, it did not hit as hard as it has hit me lately. The part that states that we are all one consciousness within a small space in time is beginning to make far too much sense to me. The whole concept is starting to come together in a very different way for me. Right now I trying to readjust my perceptions to match this concept, again. I feel like it is on the tip of my tongue, so to speak. More to come for sure.
They are making things difficult for me, but I still have a feeling that I will come throughs this a better person. I am very grateful for this information that I am able to share with all of you.
06.25.11 - I have found evidence that my email has been hacked by someone. Good to know that I am not completely paranoid. There have been a number of email messages that were deleted before I had a chance to read them. If any of you have sent email asking questions or offering assistance and you did not receive a reply please resend the message. I am working with my ISP to prevent this from happening again. Again I'd like to thank all of you that have sent, and continue to send, me support and love.
06.29.11 - I am pretty amazed at the level of meditation I am able to achieve after a short time working with the Flower of Life mandala. I am reaching level of silence I have been unable to reach since my relationship with the Nameless took on a more sinister character.
I have noticed some changes in my habits and attitude that seem to originate from my own will. I find myself doing the right things automatically with out much resistance. It is strange to see myself taking these small steps in the right direction. The self talk has taken on a different character and I am finding that within myself is a more compassionate personality. Today I looked into the mirror and saw myself differently. For the first time in a very long time, I actually liked what I saw. There is something I can now see in my own eyes that was missing. It is familiar to me. Like seeing an old childhood friend for the first time in a very long time.
I have recently read that the FOL brings about a closer connection with your true self as the ego begins to relinquish control. I have always had a difficult time with the ego. Many times I have beaten it back only to have it resurface again, and now it seems a bit easier to keep the ego at bay. The first few days using the FOL mandala were not so smooth as I found it difficult to adjust to what I was feeling, but now it looks as if that period may be over. I need to spend more time with the FOL. I have spent over ten years working with the Sri Yantra mandala. I don't remember making a lot of progress with it in such a short amount of time. The FOL is very different, profoundly different.
My more recent research into the holographic universe and the Kabbalah has caused my assailants to turn up the radiation the past couple of days. Even though I had always believed that reality is an illusion of our perceived world, it did not hit as hard as it has hit me lately. The part that states that we are all one consciousness within a small space in time is beginning to make far too much sense to me. The whole concept is starting to come together in a very different way for me. Right now I trying to readjust my perceptions to match this concept, again. I feel like it is on the tip of my tongue, so to speak. More to come for sure.
They are making things difficult for me, but I still have a feeling that I will come throughs this a better person. I am very grateful for this information that I am able to share with all of you.
06.24.11 (Transfered from original blog)
Posts from original blog www.i-am-xam.com/blog.html.
06.24.11 - I had always been fascinated with crop circles just because I thought they were beautiful. I never really thought that they were created by aliens and UFOs. I felt that they were created by higher dimensional beings that are part of our consciousness and that these images were a message of some kind. I started watching videos on crop circle phenomena and after watching the videos I noticed that there was an improvement in my conscious environment which I call my conscious cloud. I never knew why this happened and would periodically watch the video to find out why this happened. What I started to discover that at a particular point in a video I would stop thinking and my focus would increase. At that time, I was not able to figure out which crop circle image caused this change in my thought process or made a connection with me.
Due to the things that have been happening in my life recently, I have been exposed to all sorts of information from those that have contacted me via some of social networks. Sacred geometry started to become a reoccurring theme in the information I was receiving in either text or symbols. Sacred geometry was something that I was interested in, but I never made a connection or a solid spiritual connection until recently. After watching a series of videos called Sacred Geometry & Unified Fields Part 1 by Nassim Haramein it was revealed to me the importance of the crop circle video and images.
The information presented by Nassim was very interesting and I do recommend watching the complete set of six. I think that he has formed a comprehensive unifying theory in physics. It was not until the last video of the presentation that I was able to make understand why this presentation came into my life. Some images that were presented (Part 6 time: 13:45) as part of his presentation looked similar to one of the crop circles in the video I was watching as part of my daily meditation. When I searched through the video for the image, I found it was in the area of the video that would start to change my focus.
I immediately started to search for images and information concerning the image of the Egyptian symbol in the presentation. I discovered information concerning something called the Flower of Life and it's role in sacred geometry. The crop circle image in my video is a variation of the Seed of Life. The Seed of Life is constructed using the first seven center circles of the Flower of Life. I then began a search to find a suitable mandala of the FOL. After finding a few images, I then used one image as mandala for meditation.
My first meditation was amazing. I immediately dropped into a highly focused state of mind while maintaining a heightened state of awareness. It was similar to the brief change in my state of mind that I began to fall into while watching the crop circle video. I finally discovered why it was important for me to continue my interest in crop circles. I have been using the image as part of my daily meditation and I am seeing positive changes in my conscious environment. I still have to spend a lot more time with this tool, but I wanted to share this info with those of you that are not aware of the Flower of Life and the potential use for spiritual transformation. I have to add that my adversaries were not very happy when I was doing my initial searches concerning sacred geometry and ultimately the Flower of Life.
06.24.11 - I had always been fascinated with crop circles just because I thought they were beautiful. I never really thought that they were created by aliens and UFOs. I felt that they were created by higher dimensional beings that are part of our consciousness and that these images were a message of some kind. I started watching videos on crop circle phenomena and after watching the videos I noticed that there was an improvement in my conscious environment which I call my conscious cloud. I never knew why this happened and would periodically watch the video to find out why this happened. What I started to discover that at a particular point in a video I would stop thinking and my focus would increase. At that time, I was not able to figure out which crop circle image caused this change in my thought process or made a connection with me.
Due to the things that have been happening in my life recently, I have been exposed to all sorts of information from those that have contacted me via some of social networks. Sacred geometry started to become a reoccurring theme in the information I was receiving in either text or symbols. Sacred geometry was something that I was interested in, but I never made a connection or a solid spiritual connection until recently. After watching a series of videos called Sacred Geometry & Unified Fields Part 1 by Nassim Haramein it was revealed to me the importance of the crop circle video and images.
The information presented by Nassim was very interesting and I do recommend watching the complete set of six. I think that he has formed a comprehensive unifying theory in physics. It was not until the last video of the presentation that I was able to make understand why this presentation came into my life. Some images that were presented (Part 6 time: 13:45) as part of his presentation looked similar to one of the crop circles in the video I was watching as part of my daily meditation. When I searched through the video for the image, I found it was in the area of the video that would start to change my focus.
I immediately started to search for images and information concerning the image of the Egyptian symbol in the presentation. I discovered information concerning something called the Flower of Life and it's role in sacred geometry. The crop circle image in my video is a variation of the Seed of Life. The Seed of Life is constructed using the first seven center circles of the Flower of Life. I then began a search to find a suitable mandala of the FOL. After finding a few images, I then used one image as mandala for meditation.
My first meditation was amazing. I immediately dropped into a highly focused state of mind while maintaining a heightened state of awareness. It was similar to the brief change in my state of mind that I began to fall into while watching the crop circle video. I finally discovered why it was important for me to continue my interest in crop circles. I have been using the image as part of my daily meditation and I am seeing positive changes in my conscious environment. I still have to spend a lot more time with this tool, but I wanted to share this info with those of you that are not aware of the Flower of Life and the potential use for spiritual transformation. I have to add that my adversaries were not very happy when I was doing my initial searches concerning sacred geometry and ultimately the Flower of Life.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
06.20.11 (Transfered from original blog)
Posts from original blog www.i-am-xam.com/blog.html.
06.20.11 - The attacks started about 5 years ago. The first began when I was driving home at night on a narrow canyon road. I thought that I was having a heart attack, it came on suddenly and I almost lost consciousness. It happened again a few days later while driving at night, it was the same feeling. Both times I had to pull over and submit to it. I did not happen again and I blamed it on some supplements I was taking and forgot about it. About three to four months ago it happen again, but this time I was in my apartment. The same feeling that I had while driving came over me while I was standing in my apartment. It was the time when the Nameless were very active and overt about watching me. This time I knew it wasn't a heart attack. I was able to feel the energy beam they were using as I moved about my apartment. I could escape it for a few moments before it found me again. It was tracking me in my apartment no matter where I moved. The energy beam was definitely in the skies above me. I never saw it or heard it I only felt it. I ended up wrapped in wet towels sitting on the floor. After a couple of nights of constant attacks I heard some air force aircraft above and shortly after that the beam weapon stopped. It would return a couple other nights, but the roar of a jet overhead would end the attack. That began the set of circumstances I find myself in right now. The psychic attacks and the constant surveillance are what is left of their war against me.
Yesterday I went to the health market and was attacked by a skinny middle aged woman. There was nothing really special about her, but she was the only one I kept finding in the same isles I was shopping. She would stand by me whenever she could. I did not move away from her. I did not suspect her, nor did I care. I wanted to see if I could withstand an attack after exposing myself to higher levels of aetheric energy. I left the store and packed my goods in a shoulder bag and went home. I noticed that the left side of my chest ached and thought that it was caused by the shoulder bag. It felt like a strained muscle more than anything else. Later that night the soreness increased, but not enough to be a problem. The increased aetheric exposure seems to have a way of diminishing the effects of the attack, but I can't be sure. The attacks are more of a nuisance than anything else. I am growing tired of their antics.
They have gone through some covert methods to end my life. They are persistent parasites of consciousness and they are all over mine. I was reminded of the drugs and chemicals they put in my food and supplements. The day before my most recent encounter with them, I used some cayenne pepper that I had not used since I discovered they were entering my apartment. I had a difficult time focussing about 30 minutes after taking the cayenne. I started thinking about my rapid weight loss and some of the other side effects from whatever they were putting in my supplements, all of it was probably done to make it look like a natural death due to illness. They seem to be taking the long slow path to ensuring my demise. For some reason I am surviving. At this point it would be easier for me to die and take my chances in ascending in the after life. Someone or something is keeping me here for reasons I can't figure out. I used to call the Locum Tenens because I thought they were here to replace us. I am starting to think that they are here to control us.
I am trying to manifest or rewrite my life in a manner that is void of my current circumstances. I am trying to get my projects done and move on again. I know that I am responsible for my life, but I haven't found a way to rid myself of these people or beings. A day after the last attack I have seen people taking pictures of me again. I'm starting to feel like an animal at the zoo. I am the anomaly that is capable of surviving the attacks from the Nameless, I've become a side show. I'd rather try to think that the ones that are taking pictures are the ones that are watching over me. I would appreciate it if they would show me the way out of this mess. I catch them with their cameras pointed at me and then quickly drop their hands and look away. I walk away thinking that I really need to wake up from this dream.
Right now I feel fine. Seems like the only thing that helps to heal is a strong overwhelmingly positive feeling that overtakes me when I meditate. I think about my attackers. I have no hatred or animosity towards them. I just want them to stop. Then slowly the ache goes away and I'm back to normal (my level of normal).
06.20.11 - The attacks started about 5 years ago. The first began when I was driving home at night on a narrow canyon road. I thought that I was having a heart attack, it came on suddenly and I almost lost consciousness. It happened again a few days later while driving at night, it was the same feeling. Both times I had to pull over and submit to it. I did not happen again and I blamed it on some supplements I was taking and forgot about it. About three to four months ago it happen again, but this time I was in my apartment. The same feeling that I had while driving came over me while I was standing in my apartment. It was the time when the Nameless were very active and overt about watching me. This time I knew it wasn't a heart attack. I was able to feel the energy beam they were using as I moved about my apartment. I could escape it for a few moments before it found me again. It was tracking me in my apartment no matter where I moved. The energy beam was definitely in the skies above me. I never saw it or heard it I only felt it. I ended up wrapped in wet towels sitting on the floor. After a couple of nights of constant attacks I heard some air force aircraft above and shortly after that the beam weapon stopped. It would return a couple other nights, but the roar of a jet overhead would end the attack. That began the set of circumstances I find myself in right now. The psychic attacks and the constant surveillance are what is left of their war against me.
Yesterday I went to the health market and was attacked by a skinny middle aged woman. There was nothing really special about her, but she was the only one I kept finding in the same isles I was shopping. She would stand by me whenever she could. I did not move away from her. I did not suspect her, nor did I care. I wanted to see if I could withstand an attack after exposing myself to higher levels of aetheric energy. I left the store and packed my goods in a shoulder bag and went home. I noticed that the left side of my chest ached and thought that it was caused by the shoulder bag. It felt like a strained muscle more than anything else. Later that night the soreness increased, but not enough to be a problem. The increased aetheric exposure seems to have a way of diminishing the effects of the attack, but I can't be sure. The attacks are more of a nuisance than anything else. I am growing tired of their antics.
They have gone through some covert methods to end my life. They are persistent parasites of consciousness and they are all over mine. I was reminded of the drugs and chemicals they put in my food and supplements. The day before my most recent encounter with them, I used some cayenne pepper that I had not used since I discovered they were entering my apartment. I had a difficult time focussing about 30 minutes after taking the cayenne. I started thinking about my rapid weight loss and some of the other side effects from whatever they were putting in my supplements, all of it was probably done to make it look like a natural death due to illness. They seem to be taking the long slow path to ensuring my demise. For some reason I am surviving. At this point it would be easier for me to die and take my chances in ascending in the after life. Someone or something is keeping me here for reasons I can't figure out. I used to call the Locum Tenens because I thought they were here to replace us. I am starting to think that they are here to control us.
I am trying to manifest or rewrite my life in a manner that is void of my current circumstances. I am trying to get my projects done and move on again. I know that I am responsible for my life, but I haven't found a way to rid myself of these people or beings. A day after the last attack I have seen people taking pictures of me again. I'm starting to feel like an animal at the zoo. I am the anomaly that is capable of surviving the attacks from the Nameless, I've become a side show. I'd rather try to think that the ones that are taking pictures are the ones that are watching over me. I would appreciate it if they would show me the way out of this mess. I catch them with their cameras pointed at me and then quickly drop their hands and look away. I walk away thinking that I really need to wake up from this dream.
Right now I feel fine. Seems like the only thing that helps to heal is a strong overwhelmingly positive feeling that overtakes me when I meditate. I think about my attackers. I have no hatred or animosity towards them. I just want them to stop. Then slowly the ache goes away and I'm back to normal (my level of normal).
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