Monday, May 13, 2013

More Fear

The long dark emptiness of the void

LITANY AGAINST FEAR

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

The "Litany Against Fear" is from the novel by Frank Herbert's Dune series. Still one of the most important works of science fiction to date.

On the morning of my journey through the void, my very own spiritual resurrection. The fear was so overwhelming it occupied all of my senses. I was consumed by it. I ran from that fear. The violence that I thought I had perpetrated made me want to run. Hundreds and thousands of beings chasing me. Sirens were blaring as I ran fighting through a level of confusion I had never ever faced in my life (I cannot remember correctly, but I believe I heard them shouting 'there he is'). I ran under an overpass and turned to face the pack that was chasing me, but there was nothing there. Silence, peace and the unsettling emptiness of the void. 

I found myself at a familiar street corner S.O.F.A. South First Street Area in downtown San Jose ( S. First and E. San Salvador). There were beings, several of them, pushing me and calling me names. They were referencing my racial heritage they used every possible innuendo. I felt their hatred, it was the most hatred I had ever felt at one time. As I stood there in the middle of the intersection they where shouting and pushing me. They surrounded me. I felt their hands as they shoved me toward each other. I did nothing. I focused on nothing. I did not fight back and then it stopped. I was standing in my apartment covered in sweat, exhausted, but relieve the fear had passed through me. 

I now know the perpetrators of the horrors I faced that morning. The Nameless where there forcing that fear upon me. They were the ones pushing me. I can almost feel who they were now. I can almost recognize them. I can do this now because they are at it again. I can feel them focusing their fear upon me. It is distinct in that it comes from outside of my self. I can almost sense it's direction and source. It is not like a panic attack where the source comes from the mind generated by thoughts of known fears, this fear is without substance. Raw fear that allows you to fill in the blanks. 

I recite the litany against fear and focus upon the moment and the fear subsides. I recognize and focus upon the source. I look back at the perpetrator and the are forced to look away. I tell them that karmic retribution is at their door, it comes for them. I apologize, but note that it is not my doing, I am only the witness. 

The past few days, have been heavy with this fear. The Nameless know that I am able to manifest my thoughts in my conscious reality (as you do also). They know that if they can induce fear in me I will manifest my own monsters. Fascinating tactic, they plant the seed and I nurture the beast. 

They do most of their evil deeds when I sleep (radiation, inception). I am most vulnerable at that time, we are all vulnerable at that time. We wake up and the notion of fear creeps into our daily life. We look for it and then we find what we are looking or focused upon. 

They are persistent. Many, many sources. The minions are out in force staring at me from a distance dong their part. Poor soulless souls, slaves to empty promises. The pendulum now swings in the opposite direction. The age of fear is subsiding. I fear they will be lost forever, clinging to the bushes and grasses of this place for several eternities. 

Fear And Loathing in Hawaii

In Hawaii there was one rather large man of Samoan/Hawaiian descent. They would call him to follow me when I left my apartment. It was during the time I was writing me ebook. The fear they induced in me became real when I saw him. As this tactic continued I began to question what I was feeling and I would leave my apartment and then return quickly to an elevated parking garage at the apartment building. I saw him walking towards the apartment talking on the phone and looking for someone. I watched him standing beneath my observation post in the garage. He was waiting for me so he could play his part. The last time I saw him we walked toward each other. As we approached each other I looked him in the eyes and he looked away. He continued walking, nothing happened.

In the recent past they have sent strangers to my door. They just walk up when I am in the garage and try to act friendly in a menacing way. This stopped during my recent year of inactivity and has resumed again. I suspect that they will take it up a notch. I will post those instances here.

Fear As A Method of Control

We hear in America live in a perpetual state of fear. Constantly bombarded by news segments of impending harm, death and debt. We are not safe and there are those that offer resolutions, safety and sanctuary. Noam Chomsky stated that they create the problem then offer their solution. The solution often requires that you give something up in return (civil rights, liberty). The Nameless offer that they will stop this fear mongering if I stop posting on this blog. I can go back to a life free from fear if I give up my right to live my life in any way I choose to. I can not accept their meager offer. I tried to ignore them, but my life stalled in a perpetual loop indicating I had to act. I refuse to live that way.

I have created another phrase by witch I refer to the Nameless. I have called them parasites of consciousness, but it seems the are also bullies of consciousness as well. The offspring (little demons) of their minions are bullies as well, practicing their craft at a young age to be applied in adulthood. Generations of bullies for their cause. Let's see if I can draw them out from behind the darkness and safety of their anonymity and coax them out into the light for all to see. That's what this is all about. They were revealed to me some 14 years ago and now I can no longer ignore them.

Fear prevents any significant movement to higher levels of consciousness. Fear interrupts the flow of energy from the heart (heart chakra) to the brain (crown chakra). Fear is the electric fence that defines the prison of this existence. Fear occupies the place where positive emotions can flourish. The evil of the Nameless is based upon fear. Subdue the fear and disarm the Nameless. Often the threat of harm is far more powerful than the harm itself.

No comments: