Journal: Challenge

The most difficult challenge that I face is not focusing my attention upon all that I am able to experience. Difficulty lies in focussing my attention upon that which I am not yet able to experience. 

Every moment the dream narrative that is my life unfolds before me as my reactive mind chases yet another distraction. Where do I need to focus my attention as the magicians perform the trick that is this shared dream?

When I struggle with the challenges of this existence I often hear someone laughing in the distance. Laughter from a source drenched in self satisfaction with a healthy dose of overconfidence. 

I garner a bit of my own satisfaction from the sense that I am enough of a point of interest (pain in the ass) for them to find it necessary to laugh at all.

When I explore this level of this shared dream I am always reminded of what I do not want. My excursions into this realm are fewer than what existed in the past. What am I trying to experience that I missed on prior journeys here?

All challenges are accompanied by their own resolutions. 

Journal: No Words

There are rare times in this existence where I simply am unable to understand events that occur in this shared dream. I accept that I cannot understand all that I am able to experience. I am grateful that I am able to learn to accept such events regardless of my own ignorance of how it may shape events to come. 

I do understand that I am where I need to be, experiencing all that is around me regardless of how I interpret my experiences through my limited and outdated frame of reference. Interpreting events within the dream regardless of the emotional component is important, yet difficult. 

There is one thing I am certain of. The most difficult changes are usually significant events that alter directions and perceptions ad infinitum. Change fosters growth by expanding consciousness. Change is a constant force within this existence regardless of our desires to resist it. 

Journal: Do you believe in love?

If this is a dream, then what about love? What about all the other emotions? I had a dream about a woman. The connection we had was as real as any. When I became conscious the emotion remained, an unconscious remnant within consciousness. 

What is now just a memory is just like all the other experiences I have had either conscious or not. If an emotion is tied to a memory, even if the memory isn't within the shared physical material realm, is it real? If not then why not? 

If I believe in love then why would I disregard it in any form that it takes? A positive emotion void of attachment should not be dismissed. For a brief time it manifested within me, a creation that was beyond me. 

Meditation an dreaming are now the same, in between consciousness and the unconscious.