06.20.11 (Transfered from original blog)

Posts from original blog www.i-am-xam.com/blog.html.


06.20.11 - The attacks started about 5 years ago. The first began when I was driving home at night on a narrow canyon road. I thought that I was having a heart attack, it came on suddenly and I almost lost consciousness. It happened again a few days later while driving at night, it was the same feeling. Both times I had to pull over and submit to it. I did not happen again and I blamed it on some supplements I was taking and forgot about it. About three to four months ago it happen again, but this time I was in my apartment. The same feeling that I had while driving came over me while I was standing in my apartment. It was the time when the Nameless were very active and overt about watching me. This time I knew it wasn't a heart attack. I was able to feel the energy beam they were using as I moved about my apartment. I could escape it for a few moments before it found me again. It was tracking me in my apartment no matter where I moved. The energy beam was definitely in the skies above me. I never saw it or heard it I only felt it. I ended up wrapped in wet towels sitting on the floor. After a couple of nights of constant attacks I heard some air force aircraft above and shortly after that the beam weapon stopped. It would return a couple other nights, but the roar of a jet overhead would end the attack. That began the set of circumstances I find myself in right now. The psychic attacks and the constant surveillance are what is left of their war against me.
    Yesterday I went to the health market and was attacked by a skinny middle aged woman. There was nothing really special about her, but she was the only one I kept finding in the same isles I was shopping. She would stand by me whenever she could. I did not move away from her. I did not suspect her, nor did I care. I wanted to see if I could withstand an attack after exposing myself to higher levels of aetheric energy. I left the store and packed my goods in a shoulder bag and went home. I noticed that the left side of my chest ached and thought that it was caused by the shoulder bag. It felt like a strained muscle more than anything else. Later that night the soreness increased, but not enough to be a problem. The increased aetheric exposure seems to have a way of diminishing the effects of the attack, but I can't be sure. The attacks are more of a nuisance than anything else. I am growing tired of their antics.
    They have gone through some covert methods to end my life. They are persistent parasites of consciousness and they are all over mine. I was reminded of the drugs and chemicals they put in my food and supplements. The day before my most recent encounter with them, I used some cayenne pepper that I had not used since I discovered they were entering my apartment. I had a difficult time focussing about 30 minutes after taking the cayenne. I started thinking about my rapid weight loss and some of the other side effects from whatever they were putting in my supplements, all of it was probably done to make it look like a natural death due to illness. They seem to be taking the long slow path to ensuring my demise. For some reason I am surviving. At this point it would be easier for me to die and take my chances in ascending in the after life. Someone or something is keeping me here for reasons I can't figure out. I used to call the Locum Tenens because I thought they were here to replace us. I am starting to think that they are here to control us.
    I am trying to manifest or rewrite my life in a manner that is void of my current circumstances. I am trying to get my projects done and move on again. I know that I am responsible for my life, but I haven't found a way to rid myself of these people or beings. A day after the last attack I have seen people taking pictures of me again. I'm starting to feel like an animal at the zoo. I am the anomaly that is capable of surviving the attacks from the Nameless, I've become a side show. I'd rather try to think that the ones that are taking pictures are the ones that are watching over me. I would appreciate it if they would show me the way out of this mess. I catch them with their cameras pointed at me and then quickly drop their hands and look away. I walk away thinking that I really need to wake up from this dream.
    Right now I feel fine. Seems like the only thing that helps to heal is a strong overwhelmingly positive feeling that overtakes me when I meditate. I think about my attackers. I have no hatred or animosity towards them. I just want them to stop. Then slowly the ache goes away and I'm back to normal (my level of normal).