12.16.11 (Transfered from original blog)

Posts from original blog www.i-am-xam.com/blog.html.


12.16.11 - It has been pretty clear that the Nameless wanted me to stop posting to this blog among other things. I attempted to let them know that I would not continue my blog if they would leave me alone. They never really stopped completely, they just toned down their activity. So since they were unable to stop trying to control my activities I feel a need to continue to tell my story. 
    A lot has happened since my last post and I will be posting it here in the near future. I am still confused concerning my experiences, but that may be caused by the seemingly endless possibilities that are available. I am slowly understanding what I need to do and interestingly it has nothing to do with the Nameless. It has to do with my conscious perceptions of my world view or cloud and what I give my attention to. It also has a good deal to do with my connection to the greater consciousness in general. This is very difficult to explain, but it is a fundamental part of our existence. It is staring us in the face on a daily basis. For me it has been very obvious, but I was unable to understand what I was experiencing.
    Throughout the years of my life I have had a feeling that something was not right. I just kept that thought in the back of my head and went along with my life as other people around me did. I did what I was supposed to do in order to exist in the life that I found myself living, the life that I inherited. That's what we all have done, we all have followed in the footsteps of those that came before us. We inherited this life, or social construct, from our parents and others as we developed our world view. We inherited this grand delusion that has taken us very far away from the reality that exists beyond this grand delusion.
    Most of my life I never stopped feeling that something was wrong even during good times when life was easier. Life just seemed to be limited and restricted. I remember myself thinking if this was it. Is that all there is? I felt that I was not seeing the entire picture. I was not living the life I could have and something was holding me back. The feeling became a dominant belief and my life, in being deeply influenced by that belief, it created my current set of circumstances.
    If you have followed this blog or even purchased my ebook you know that I am having some difficulty with people I refer to as the Nameless. That difficulty could have eventually cost me my life (the word "life" is becoming a subjective term that does not fully define this experience), but I am still here ("here" is also a subjective term that does not consider that we all shift through space and time as we ascend and descend in differing states of consciousness). I am in a better place safe and protected by family and also those positive forces that remain hidden to me. Now it seems that I need to make some adjustments. I believe that I am capable of recreating my life in profound ways. I have proven this to myself many times, but now I have a better method in which to create a better more positive experience. The Nameless no longer have a place in the life I now create. They were responsible for my current level of awakening. They were necessary and I am very grateful for the attention they have given me. Now I need to direct my attention away from them because they no longer serve a purpose in my life. Like a relationship that has run its course I will move on. They no longer have the ability to inhibit my progress. The light has illuminated their role in my existence. The Great Oz has been unveiled and he no longer holds power over me.
    My last post I had referred that the Nameless might be some advanced alien race, I have now chosen to not make any assumptions concerning their origin. Consciousness is a complex and interesting construct with endless possiblities. I do not know who or what the Nameless are or if they are any different than the rest of us. I have encountered some people with intense auras of energy (?), but they are still people that look no different than anyone else. With the endless amount of possibilities that this existence has to offer I can not begin to, nor would I want to, continue to speculate as to their origins because it no longer serves a purpose. Call them what you like, they may be just a group of people that have figured out a way to maintain power and control with technology, their will, the truth, or some Jedi mind tricks. I only know that they are effectively hiding the truth (reality) from a lot of us for a very long time, but that time has come to an end for me. I am now going to change my relationship with the world, or universe, and align myself with a world view that has no limitations and restrictions. I want the type of life I feel can exist. The life that exists behind the veil of this grand delusion. 
    As I progress, I will tell you a bit about who I am. I will tell you a little more about what had happened the past few months and then I will continue to tell you about my journey as I change my intentions, thoughts and actions. I am consciously going to manifest my life as I see necessary. To disinherit the habits that I believe to be destructive and limiting. To forget the behaviors that were a result of my social conditioning and begin to become the architect of my own life in a world without limitations. I do not want to fight or be in opposition to the Nameless. I want to continue my life's journey in a direction that leads away from the Nameless and other similar realms of conscious existence.
    A little about me: My trip through the void occurred in an apartment across the street from the university I was attending in San Jose California. The security guard that waved to me the morning after exiting the void was standing in the doorway of Uchida Hall at San Jose State University. The construction workers that pointed me out ("there he is") as I walked past a construction site a few days after my trip through the void were working on the San Jose Repertory Theater. The landscapers that commented "there he is" as I walked to class were employed by San Jose State University. The location, where I encountered the people I referred to as "Time Tourists", was across from the Starbucks coffee shop adjacent to the San Jose Rep. And, the location where the significant attacks occurred during the first couple of months of 2011 happened in Honolulu Hawaii, the result of those attacks stripped me of 30 lbs. of body weight. I am now back in San Jose California, back where it all began. More to cone...