07.04.11 (Transfered from original blog)

Posts from original blog www.i-am-xam.com/blog.html.


07.04.11 - I am making changes in my life and the Nameless are not happy. I already know that all will go according to plans.
    Since I have been working with the Flower of Life I have been enduring attacks on my emotional state of mind. I know that the Nameless are capable of influencing me in a negative way with what I believe to be some kind of psychic ability. They normally manifest as abrupt changes in my emotional state of mind, such as a foreboding need to leave the area. I used to think that I was responding to my intuition, but that might not be the case. What I am now having to endure is a feeling of fear and anxiety when I wake up in the morning. The feeling is without any cause. I think that they are preying upon me while I sleep. I must be more vulnerable to their suggestions when I sleep. I wake up with this feeling of hopelessness when I know that I am not that far gone. It is difficult to wake up and feel this way knowing that it does not originate from my own mind. I am only able to think about it in this manner because of my experiences with them. If I was unaware of their abilities to influence me I would probably be lost. They have been relentless, and each day I find a way through it. I have hope and I believe that I will always prevail.
    I have been countering this feeling with meditation with some degree of success, but the feeling returns the following morning. I had a change in schedule that kept me away from my apartment for a period of time and I noticed that I did not encounter the fear or anxiety. During that day I was overcome with contentment and an appreciation for everyone I saw. I was enjoying the day in a way I have not been able to do in quite some time. I am accepting everything that comes my way with a sense of awe and appreciation. I am beginning to accept and understand this reality as a grand illusion of consciousness. The shear magnitude of the illusion is overwhelming and it all emanates from our conscious perceptions. When you begin to see our reality in this way, you can see how we are all in this together, making this happen. I am beginning to feel the oneness with everyone that enlightened people are able to perceive even though I may be far from being enlightened myself.
     When I returned home my mood began to diminish until the next morning when the fear and anxiety returned. Now when they induce that fear in me I leave the apartment and I can feel that fear leave me. If they are, as I believe they are, psychic puppet masters, I may not be the only person they are doing this to. There are far too many people that are dealing with fear and anxiety. It may not be a mental illness. It might just be one of the nameless keeping them from consciously evolving. Those that pose a threat to them are the ones that are slowly awakening to their connection to the greater consciousness. If you are experiencing something similar then don't reach for a pill, make a sudden change of venue. Take a walk outside in a secluded area and see if the anxiety subsides. Pay attention to where and when the fear rises in you. Pay attention to those around. Don't be obvious, be present and pay attention. Once they know that you are aware of them then they will go away.The Nameless attack me constantly. When I can identify the person that attacks me then I rarely, if ever, see that person again. For me they do not go away, they just send another. The amount of people they have used to pound me into submission is incredible. The logistics to carry this off is mind boggling. Just how important can I be to them? 
    A few days ago I carried the device with me and no one attacked me. I was having a great day, feeling content and being very positive. I saw one of the Nameless standing next to me in line. He looked like a guy I used to work with. I didn't care, I just went about my business and enjoyed the day. I was people watching and feeling really positive about everyone (I attribute this to the Flower of Life meditation I have been doing - let's see if this will last). Then when I arrived home, they hit me harder than normal. I do not know if they have done so because of the changes I am making, because I carried the device with me on my errands, or because I was in a great mood. The radiation was increased and directed at the back of my head. This continues to be so bizarre that I still have difficulty believing what I am going through. I just can't seem to figure out what they want from me. It seems to change as I change.
    I'm going to be very busy over the next few weeks. I'll try and keep everyone updated as best I can. When the posts stop completely then you'll know they have accomplished their goal (whatever that may be). Many thanks to all of you for the continued support and assistance.